Saturday, March 29, 2008

Keep Them In and Keep Them Out

Once there was a Peacock Papi who was so beautiful and colorful. He had four little peacock chickies who loved to play.

They all lived in a nice fenced in yard where there was a tree, some shrubbery and a little pond. It was a perfect little spot.

The Papi Peacock was so beautiful that every day, animals would come over and ask him to show them his train. It was so beautiful.

Once day, the cow came over and asked Peacock to show her his plumage. So he did.

While he was showing her his feathers, he looked over and saw that his little chickies were playing by the fence.

He excused himself and went to the fence.

"Hey, you guys," said Papi Peacock, "I don't want you guys to play by the fence. You can play by the pond, climb the tree and play in the bushes, but just don't play by the fence."

They apologized and went to play by the pond.

The next day, Dog brought a couple of cat friends to see Peacock's tail feathers.

While he was showing them, he saw out of the corner of his eye, that his chickies were playing by the fence again. In fact, they were playing ON the fence.

He excused himself again and went over to them.

"I thought we agreed you wouldn't play by the fence," said Papi Peacock, "And here you are ON the fence."

They apologized again and went over to the tree.

The next day, a bunch of the animals came over with cakes and chips and drinks. They had been planning a potluck for a while. While they were all talking and laughing, Papi Peacock took a look around, hoping that he wouldn't find his chickies playing by the fence.

He searched the fence line and they weren't there. He breathed a sign of relief.

Then he searched the rest of the yard for them, wondering where they were. He couldn't find them. He looked in the tree, by the pond and in the bush, and they weren't anywhere.

He started freaking out. He asked everyone who came for the potluck to look for them, but no one found them.

They looked for hours, and nothing.

After a while, they all left. They would look on their way home.

Papi Peacock cried and cried and would not let himself go to sleep, well, until he couldn't help falling asleep because he was too tired.

When he woke up, he remembered right away and started to cry again.

He slowly stood up and took a look around the yard. To his surprise, there were the chickies, right in the very center of the yard.

He rushed over to them and hugged them and kissed them and loved on them and told them how worried he had been.

"Where were you?" he asked. "What happened to you last night?"

"Well," one of them said, "We were playing by the fence, and suddenly, well, we found ourselves on the other side of the fence."

"And we couldn't find away back in," said another chickie.

So they went on to explain what happened.

It turns out that while they were on the other side of the fence, a fox came over and offered to help them get to the opening of the fence.

"Get on my back and I'll take you there," said the fox.

The chickies believed him, and got on his back.

Once they were all on his back, he bolted...the opposite way of the fence. He was taking them away.

The chickies started screaming and tightening their claws on his back. They even started pecking him.

"Stop pecking me!" the fox yelled.

But they didn't stop.

"Not until you let us down!" said the chickies.

"Fine!" yelled the fox. "Get off my back!"

The chickies jumped off his back, and the fox quickly ran away.

The chickies realized that they were far from home and started crying.

After a while, they finished crying and decided to try to walk back home.

It took them all night to walk home...foxes run very fast.

Once they got to the fence, they looked around the whole fence line, but couldn't find the way in. But instead of crying again, they decided that they would try to get up onto the fence, and then jump off in to the yard.

As they were talking about how they were going to do it, the fox appeared behind them, and he had brought his whole family... his wife, his three little fox cubs, and his brother.

The chickies freaked out and jumped higher than they thought they could, right over the fence.

Once they were in the yard, and safe from the fox family, they carefully calculated the exact middle of the yard and huddled together, shaking and trembling.

"And that's where I found you," said Papi Peacock. And he hugged them again.

"I'm sure glad you found your way back," he said.

They were too...and they never played by the fence again. Well, there was that one time that the ball got kicked over to the fence, but that's different.

The End

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Why Lambs Always Land on their Back

Once there was a fluffy little lamby who suddenly found herself at the very top of a very tall tree.

She didn't normally climb trees, and when she found herself up the tree, she didn't know what to do.

Since this was a new thing for her, and didn't actually know if she could climb down, she decided to sing a song.

It went like this:

I'm just a little Lamby
Singing in a tree
Not sure how I got up here
But I think I have to pee.

And when she thought about it, she realized she really DID have to pee. So she stuck her bottom out as far as she could, pulled up her tail (so she wouldn't get pee on her fluffy tail) and trickled her pee from the top of the tree.

What she didn't know is that some Piggie friends had chosen to have a picnic directly under the tree.

One of them was putting some bread on his butter, and felt a little drop.

"Oh," said the Piggie, "I think it's raining." She took out her umbrella, opened it up and went back to buttering his bread.

Meanwhile, the little lamby was relieved to not have to pee anymore, and was happy. So happy, in fact, that she decided to sing another song.

It went like this:

I'm a little Lamby
I don't know what to do
Not sure how I got up here
But I think I have to poo

And just as she said it, yep, she felt like she had to poo.

So, she wiggled her bottom a little further out on the branch, lifted her fluffy tail out of the way, and let out a stream of little pellets of poo.

Well, the Piggie friends had just finished eating their butter with bread, and wanted to move on to the baggie of potato chips. Well, they looked everywhere, but had apparently misplaced the baggie, and just as they almost decided to think that they had forgotten the baggie back at the house, one of the found it just beyond a root of the tree.

The Piggie reached her hand out from under the umbrella, and grabbed hold of the baggie.

Just as soon as she brought her hand in, there started a rat-a-tat-tat banging on the umbrella.

They decided it was the tree dropping some acorns and tore into the bag of potato chips.

Meanwhile, back up the tree, the little Lamby felt again relieved to not have to poo anymore.

So, being happy again, she decided to sing again.

Here's how the song went:

I'm a little Lamby
I might have heard a hoot
Maybe there's an owl around
But I think I have to toot

And then she realized that yes, she did have to toot.

So she scooted herself further out on the limb, and was about to push, when she slipped and fell off.

Meanwhile, the Piggie friends were looking for the whipped cream to put on the pudding. Apparently, someone had forgotten the whipped cream as well.

So, as the little Lamby fell down toward the ground, she flew past a bird's nest and a squirrel's house, then some falling acorns, and even a few little drops of rain.

Then she smashed into the umbrella, and bounced right back up into the air.

This is when she remembered what her grandmother had told her:

"Always land on your back where it's the fluffiest."

So Lamby twisted herself around as she started back down for the second time.

The Piggie friends heard the large thump on the umbrella and decided to see what it was. They closed the umbrella and put it away, then took a look up toward the tree.

They missed the little fluffy lamby as she fell right into the pudding.

The Piggie friends decided that there was nothing to see and went back to eating.

"I thought we forgot the whipped cream," said one of the Piggie friends pointing at the pudding.

The Piggie friends licked their lips, grabbed their spoons and aimed for the pudding with the fluffy whipped cream on top.


The End

Friday, March 14, 2008

Skunk Finally Smiles

Once there was a skunk who was, well, she was unhappy. I'm not sure why she was upset, but it seems like everything bothered her.

If it rained, she was bothered. It it was cold or windy or hot, she was bugged. None of her friends could actually think of anything that made her smile or laugh, and believe me, they tried.

Every second Tuesday of every third month (unless it fell on an even numbered day - which would move it to the first Saturday morning that everyone could be there), they met to talk about new ideas they could try, and failed attempts of the past couple of months.

Well, in the meantime, Skunk knew that they were meeting, and since she didn't know what they were meeting about (and was never invited),that made her very upset, and even suspicious of all her "friends".

It just seemed like everything that anyone tried to do, even in love and honest concern for her wellbeing, was seen by her as a jab, and a dagger.

Once, squirrel made Skunk a beautiful cake, and it wasn't even Skunks birthday. It was strawberry inside with little chunks of cashews inside, layered with a coffee icing, then the whole thing iced with a dark chocolate cream cheese icing, and little white flowers all over it.

Well, Skunk ate a small piece of it, and was pleasant while Squirrel sat and chetted, but once Squirrel left, Skunk threw the rest of the cake away. She thought Squirrel meant by bringing a cake that Skunk was too skinny, or was addicted to sweet food, or something...she couldn't decide. But she was upset by it.

Once, Lizzard brought her flute and played a sweet little lullaby for Skunk. Well, Skunk immediately thought that Lizzard wanted to put Skunk to sleep, so she pretended to fall asleep.

When Lizzard saw that Skunk had fallen asleep, Lizzard quietly cleaned up the kitchen and tidied up the living room. Skunk kept peeking at Lizzard when she had her back turned. When Lizzard finally left, Skunk was sure that Lizzard thought Skunk was a messy animal and couldn't keep a clean house.

There was nothing that anyone could do that Skunk wouldn't assume they meant as a negative judgement on her character.

Well, the last straw for Skunk was when Froggie invited her to a "We Love You, Skunk" party. It was even held on a second Tuesday.

Skunk didn't RSVP, but knew that they were still going to throw the party. She had the idea that they were finally going to tell her she had to leave the forest.

Well, she was right...about the party still being thrown, but not the eviction.

As the Tuesday approached, Skunk prepared to show them all. She was going to finally let them how she felt about the...and it was not going to be pretty.

It took her a whole morning, and she even skipped lunch, but she finally found what she was looking for...Hemlock.

She gathered a handfull of Hemlock seeds and took them home. She crushed them into a powder, and added a little bit of water so that it made a paste, then she put it in a little acorn shell and stored it behind the pots and pans.

On Tuesday morning, Skunk sat at her kitchen table, with the Hemlock paste in front of her. She watched the clock. She had gathered all the pictures of the forest animals and set them up on the table.

There was a picture of Skunk and Froggie from when they went to the forest fair, and a picture of Stork and Squirrel laughing at Skunk's kitchen table. There was a picture of Skunk and Lizzard jumping into the pond.

She looked them all for a long time, thinking that they were all faking their friendship with her.

On the other side of the forest, Froggie and the others were putting the final touches on the decorations. They were beautiful. Garlands, flowers, a couple of cakes, lots of punch and cookies. Some of them had even brought presents.

Stork had the idea to make a card and have everyone sign it, and everyone had done that except for Mouse. Once mouse signed it, Stork put it on the table with the presents.

Once the time had come for the party to start, Froggie wondered what was keeping Skunk. Froggie sent Grackle to fly above the forest to see if he could see her on the trails.

Well, at the time the party was supposed to start, Skunk picked up the Hemlock and put it in her mouth and swallowed it.

She felt very proud of herself. She was going to show them. She felt like they disliked her so much that she was going to teach them a lesson.

As her mouth and throat started to get tingly, she thought of how Squirrel and Lizzard had wronged her.

As her mouth filled with saliva, she thought of how Froggie and Stork had done such bad things to her.

As her muscles started twitching, she thought of how badly all the forest animals had treated her and how judgemental they all had been.

As everything in her cozy little burrow started getting darker, she thought of how satisfied she would be knowing that all the forest animals would get a dose of their own medicine.

And when her breathing became shallower and harder, she thought she would finally go to the party and see if they had finally learned their lesson, but she could not stand up, in fact, she couldn't move a muscle.


Grackle didn't see Skunk on the trail, and he didn't see her anywhere around her burrow. When he finally landed and peeked inside her home, he immediately knew something was wrong.

He went inside and tried to wake her, but he couldn't. He looked at all the pictures stretched out in front of her on the kitchen table and smiled.


They never found any trace of the Hemlock, and all thought so highly of her. They were sad that her time had come so unexpectedly, but were all so touched by the fact that her last moments were spent gazing at her friends.

There was even a smile on Skunk's face.

She was finally happy.

The End

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

The World is my...

Once there were two chipmunks that loved each other very, very much. You could tell because they hugged and snuggled everywhere they went...sometimes maybe too much. Well, not for them, but you know how some people are...some people just don't like seeing that stuff out in public.

Anyway, these guys loved being outside. They loved to explore new places, climb interesting things and sleep anywhere they thought was safe.

They would take a weekend here or a couple of days there and go off on some fun adventure.

Then, when they returned, they would invite everyone in the forest to come over and listen to them tell of their exciting vacation.

Sometimes, the forest animals would ask them to retell stories, and the chipmunks would always oblige.

One of their favorite adventures was when they went to a beautiful place where the trees were huge, and there were massive logs everywhere. They even had a picnic on one of the fallen logs.

Another favorite was when they found a mound of large boulders piled up into an awesome place to explore.

There was also the time they hiked along a large mud pit, and they both ended up with sticky mud up to their knees.

Oh, and there was also the place where the earth opened up in a huge crack. They explored the crack all day. At one end there was a forest of thorns and vines, and in the center was a huge sink hole.

Everyone loved their stories, and they were both so good at telling them.

One day, the Monkey family invited them over for dinner. They did this every once in a while.

Once the little baby monkeys were down for the night, Mr. and Mrs. Monkey and the Chipmunks played games, sang songs, talked and laughed. They were very good friends.

Sometimes they would tell each other things that no one else knew. That's what you do with good friends.

Well, it may have been an accident how the subject of pooping was brought up, (although it seemed to be a favorite topic along with underleg trumpeting for the Monkey family).

Accident or not, the chipmunks admitted to something that surprised the Monkeys.

Monkey's side was hurting from laughing so hard.

"Well, sometimes we're just too far away from a restroom to go back!" said Mr. Chipmunk.

Monkey finally calmed down enough to ask them, "So, at the forest with the logs?"

"Yep," said the chipmunks, "we left a couple logs."

"And the the pile of boulders?" asked Monkey.

"We made our own pile." said the chipmunks.

"And the big crack?" Asked Monkey.

"Right at the edge of the sink hole." said the chipmunks.

"And the mud pit?" asked the Monkeys.

"That was a bit messy," said Mrs. Chipmunk, "I think it was the lamb burgers we ate for lunch."

Oh, they laughed about that for a while.

The Monkeys promised not to tell anyone in forest about their "adventures" during their outdoor adventures.

But whenever the chipmunks told the forest of their most recent adventure, the Monkeys would have to fight laughing out loud.

Especially when they told about their trip to the city dump. Oh, and they almost fell off the stumps they were sitting on when they told about getting pinched on some thorny bushes at loaf mountain.

They couldn't keep their snickers quiet when the chipmunks went to the lake and caught a bunch of Crappie.

The End

Monday, March 3, 2008

Blah and the Falling Blah-Blahs

Once there was a blah that was very blah, and loved to blah. Of course, only when the blah was blah or blah blah, which was actually quite blah blah.

Well, one day, a bunch of blahs dropped out of the blah, and the blah was so blah that everything changed.

First, all the blah in the blah went all blah blah. Then the blah became completely blah blah, which was really a blah thing.

There wasn't anything that the blah could do about that, but that didn't stop her from becoming blah blah.

Well, the blah made lots of changes in her life to make up for the changes that the falling blah had caused.

The problem with that was that the blah had no idea how to be a blah, and the next few days, all of the blah's friends became upset with the new blah...they didn't like the new blah very much.

But, they all loved her so much, that they all decided to do something about it.

All of the blah-blah's climbed the blah with blahs in their blah blahs, and tried to put them all back, but that didn't work...the blah's kept doing what they had done before, remember, what had started the whole thing.

Well, when the blahs came down from the blah, the blah saw them and knew exactly what they were doing. She was so happy that they cared so much about them that she got all blah-blah and began to blah.

Then all the other blah's got confused by seeing the blah getting all blah-blah, and they all started to blah.

The blah's were so blah, that they began blah-ing themselves, and one even blah-ed himself against the blah. Well, the force of the blah blah-ing against the blah made a bunch of blahs fall from the blah.

When the blah realized that it was just blah falling from the blah, she blah-ed, and then couldn't stop blah-ing.

The rest of the blahs saw her blah-ing and began blah-ing as well.

They blah-ed for a while until they got hungry, and then forgot what had started the whole thing.

The End