Sunday, March 23, 2008

Why Lambs Always Land on their Back

Once there was a fluffy little lamby who suddenly found herself at the very top of a very tall tree.

She didn't normally climb trees, and when she found herself up the tree, she didn't know what to do.

Since this was a new thing for her, and didn't actually know if she could climb down, she decided to sing a song.

It went like this:

I'm just a little Lamby
Singing in a tree
Not sure how I got up here
But I think I have to pee.

And when she thought about it, she realized she really DID have to pee. So she stuck her bottom out as far as she could, pulled up her tail (so she wouldn't get pee on her fluffy tail) and trickled her pee from the top of the tree.

What she didn't know is that some Piggie friends had chosen to have a picnic directly under the tree.

One of them was putting some bread on his butter, and felt a little drop.

"Oh," said the Piggie, "I think it's raining." She took out her umbrella, opened it up and went back to buttering his bread.

Meanwhile, the little lamby was relieved to not have to pee anymore, and was happy. So happy, in fact, that she decided to sing another song.

It went like this:

I'm a little Lamby
I don't know what to do
Not sure how I got up here
But I think I have to poo

And just as she said it, yep, she felt like she had to poo.

So, she wiggled her bottom a little further out on the branch, lifted her fluffy tail out of the way, and let out a stream of little pellets of poo.

Well, the Piggie friends had just finished eating their butter with bread, and wanted to move on to the baggie of potato chips. Well, they looked everywhere, but had apparently misplaced the baggie, and just as they almost decided to think that they had forgotten the baggie back at the house, one of the found it just beyond a root of the tree.

The Piggie reached her hand out from under the umbrella, and grabbed hold of the baggie.

Just as soon as she brought her hand in, there started a rat-a-tat-tat banging on the umbrella.

They decided it was the tree dropping some acorns and tore into the bag of potato chips.

Meanwhile, back up the tree, the little Lamby felt again relieved to not have to poo anymore.

So, being happy again, she decided to sing again.

Here's how the song went:

I'm a little Lamby
I might have heard a hoot
Maybe there's an owl around
But I think I have to toot

And then she realized that yes, she did have to toot.

So she scooted herself further out on the limb, and was about to push, when she slipped and fell off.

Meanwhile, the Piggie friends were looking for the whipped cream to put on the pudding. Apparently, someone had forgotten the whipped cream as well.

So, as the little Lamby fell down toward the ground, she flew past a bird's nest and a squirrel's house, then some falling acorns, and even a few little drops of rain.

Then she smashed into the umbrella, and bounced right back up into the air.

This is when she remembered what her grandmother had told her:

"Always land on your back where it's the fluffiest."

So Lamby twisted herself around as she started back down for the second time.

The Piggie friends heard the large thump on the umbrella and decided to see what it was. They closed the umbrella and put it away, then took a look up toward the tree.

They missed the little fluffy lamby as she fell right into the pudding.

The Piggie friends decided that there was nothing to see and went back to eating.

"I thought we forgot the whipped cream," said one of the Piggie friends pointing at the pudding.

The Piggie friends licked their lips, grabbed their spoons and aimed for the pudding with the fluffy whipped cream on top.


The End

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