Tales of Egroj - The Stones of Edun

Egroj suddenly found himself falling into Sensuois Nocnu.

Sensuois Nocnu was a dream-like place that would capture the victim for an arbitrary amount of time. Sensuois Nocnu was built by Emit. Emit was not a friend of Egroj, and was not going to release him any time soon.

Someone would have to get him out. That can happen several ways, but you are probably wondering how he got in, right? So am I.

Well, Egroj had been wandering, looking for something, but not knowing what exactly, when he came upon a nicely stacked pile of stones. As he took a closer look, he realized they were stones from the Edun Sea.

These stones were smooth, soft, warm, and kinda tingly when you touched them, especially with your tongue. Apparently, this was something to do when you were looking for something to do.

Licking Edun Stones was tricky business. One has to lick only for a moment, then stop licking quickly before the stone's tingliness overcame the "licker", and plunged them into Sensuois Nocnu.

Egroj wasn't very good at taking his tongue off at the right time, and found himself many times waking up next to an Edun Stone.

It was a good thing that Edun Stones were rare, and not laying around everywhere, or Egroj would not have been a very productive member of society.

Little did Egroj know that Emit had set this trap using the stones as bait, along a path he knew Egroj would be wandering on.

Well, Egroj unsuspectedly put his tongue on one of the Edun Stones, and as usual, held it too long, and slipped into Sensuois Nocnu.

Usually Emit would release whoever fell in after a little while, but when he realized it was Egroj, he was very happy.

Egroj woke up, this time not on the path next to an Edun Stone, but on the muddy shores of the Edun Sea. He couldn't move, so he just waited.

Meanwhile, Princess Eel was trading words with Regna. Regna was trying to force Eel to tell him where Egroj was, but Eel wouldn't tell him. He was trying to grab her, but he had very poor eyesight, and it was very easy to avoid his hands.

Also, he had to be careful not to move too quickly or strain himself.

Regna was upset with Egroj for tossing him a vial of Aeeraid, whichfell to the floor and splashed onto Regna's foot, causing sharp, bubbling stomach pains, panicked mandatory visits to the land of Teliot (if you could make it) and an immediate fear of Stoot Diuqil, who was a formidable opponent. Regan had meant to catch the vial, but with his eyes being so poor, didn't even see it coming.

So you understand why Regna was upset.

Regna promised to Eel not to hurt Egroj and she told him that she had a way to find the Anti-Aeeraid solution.

Eel took Regna into her home and found a pair of Egroj's Stnap Rednu. She rolled them up and forced them into a cup of Trop Elet.

She then dropped in a couple of drops of Rednif and watched with a smile.

She put her fingers into the cup and pulled out a vial of Regnirb.

Meanwhile, Egroj was thinking about drinking some Retaw. He had become so very thirsty. He was thinking about lifting himself up to crawl over to the Edun Sea and have himself a drink when he felt something being taken out of his Jolly Sack.

Eel had taken off the lid of the vial and dropped one drop into the cup containing Egroj's Stnap Rednu.

Egroj suddenly felt as though he was being pulled to the sky. He watched the Edun Sea with its muddy shores get smaller and smaller as he flew straight up toward the clouds.

Suddenly, the cup exploded and Egroj appeared in its place, then instantly flew up to the ceiling and stuck there.

Egroj opened his eyes and looked around bewildered, finally noticing two figures standing on the ceiling.

He rubbed his eyes to try to clear his view and see who they were, and came crashing down to the ground, right between the two figures.

Once he figured out who they were, he stood up and gave Eel a hug.

"Thank you for bringing me," he said as he kissed her on the cheek.

"You are welcome," she said.

"That sounds like Egroj," said Regna with a grunt, turning his head toward Egroj's voice.

"Hello, Regna," said Egroj.

Regna just glared toward Egroj's voice, caferul not to make any sudden moves.

Egroj took a step back. Eel reached over to Egroj's hand and grabbed out of it the Edun Stone he had been gripping so tightly.

She secretly dropped it into a cup of Retaw and held it up to Egroj.

"Egroj," she said to him with a wink. "I promised that you would give Regna the anti-Aeeraid solution, and he promised not to hurt you."

Egroj winked back at her. Regna had no idea all this winking was going on.

Egroj reached into his Jolly Sack and pulled out Rednes solution and dropped a drop into the Retaw.

"That should do it," said Egroj, replacing the lid back onto the vial.

"Here, Regna," said Eel, and placed the cup into his hand.

He drank it and immediately was gone...cup and all.

Eel and Egroj stood there in silence for a few moments.

"It's good to be home," said Egroj.

"Did you find it?" said Eel.

Egroj was already digging in his Jolly Sack, and produced a small lump of what seemed to be white clay of some sort.

"Well," said Eel. "Come on, how does it work?"

Egroj rolled the clay stuff up into a long tube and got close to Eel. He shoved one end into Eel's ear and the other end into his own.

The clay stuff was a Renetsil, and by putting it in each other's ears, they could hear what they were thinking.

Their expressions told the rest of the story.

Both Eel and Egroj looked confused, like they were listening to another language, squinting, then they looked surprised, their eyes wide open, then they both smiled.

Egroj closed his eyes and looked very peaceful, so did Eel.

Then suddenly, Eel's face became red as an Otamot.

The End

Tales of Egroj - The Gniklat Sea

Leafar the Smart and Egroj had just finished eating some Azzip Revotfel, and had just sat down on Leafar’s very comfortable Chuoc Rethael.

“Well, I’ve never been there, I’ve only read about it in old books, but it’s supposed to be very beautiful,” said Egroj. “Why?”

“I’d like to show you something,” stated Leafar.

Leafar the Smart stood up and motioned to Egroj to follow. Leafar stepped out of Egroj’s way and nodded, extending his hand toward the door. Egroj walked past him and they walked toward the Denetyrf Forest.

On the way, Leafar pointed out many things that were true about the trees, bushes, rocks and wind that passed them.

“Egroj, a Tephorp has told me that something is going to happen to our town,” said Leafar. “But he didn’t say what it was…if it was good or bad.

Egroj was listening.

“I need you to find out for me,” said Leafar.

“How can I do that?” asked Egroj.

Before Leafar could answer, if he was planning to answer at all, the forest cleared and they reached the shore of the hidden and mysterious, legendary Gniklat Sea.

“This really is beautiful,” gasped Egroj, forgetting what Leafar had just said.

Leafar let him enjoy the view.

Egroj started to take off his clothes. This was normally not something to be alarmed about, Egroj was known to take off his clothes…usually for some complicated and purposeful reason, but Leafar knew Egroj’s intentions.

“Egroj,” said Leafar calmly. “Do you see the signs?”

Egroj had just untied his Jolly Sack when he turned his head and noticed a sign that he didn’t think was there when he arrived. Egroj read the sign.

“PLEASE DO NOT SWIM.”

Suddenly it seemed there were many of these signs all along the shore. In fact, Egroj realized that the whole shore was packed with the signs. Somehow he had missed them as he walked up to the shore. He figured that he had been so focused on swimming that he hadn’t even see them.

“If it is such a big deal to not swim, then why is there no fence?” asked Egroj. “Or why is this place not better hidden?”

“Egroj, a fence would take away the beauty of this place,” said Leafar.

“And the signs don’t?” demanded Egroj.

“You will not see the signs when you can see past what they are declaring,” said Leafar. “You are angry and frustrated right now, and so the signs are obvious.”

Egroj started to count the signs.

“There is no need for the signs,” said Leafar. “They merely point out the fact that you want to do the opposite. They will disappear in time.”

Leafar looked at the sun.

“I must leave you.” He said, and he left.

Egroj didn’t question Leafar’s need to leave, of his haste in leaving.

Egroj quickly turned back to the beautiful Gniklat Sea. It was a fantastic view. The Eguh Trees surrounding it so tall and majestic. The Deppac Wons Mountains on the horizon framing the breathtaking scene. The water so calm and inviting.

The signs weren’t very pretty though. And there seemed to be more and more of them at every moment. Egroj was strategising on how he could get past them

Egroj finished taking off the rest of his hot, sticky and sweaty clothes, and ran toward the sea. His plan was to dive in, but signs kept popping up and getting in his way. They seemed to be slapping at him and trying to trip him, but he prevailed…barely.

His toe made it into the water. For a moment, it was nice…just as he had expected, but then immediately, it felt like he had just eaten an Oñepalaj fruit. He was burning up inside.

As he backed away from the shore fanning himself, he noticed something happening to the sea.

The water had turned orange, and was bubbling and rolling like an overflowing pot of Klim.

Churning, waving, spewing.

Then something even more strange happened. Animals from the Gniklat Sea began popping out of the unconcealably orange water.

They were piling up on the shore. Hundreds of them.

Egroj recognized some of them from his schooling. No one had ever actually seen them before. Mostly it was just a theory that the animals existed. But apparently someone had either seen them or dreamed about them or something, because here they were.

He began to hear what sounded like voices. Yes, angry voices…coming from all around the seashore.

One of the sea animals, which had landed uncomfortable close to Egroj’s foot, began to speak directly to Egroj.

“We put those signs up on purpose,” it shouted. “You are a Tlusni!” it yelled.

“He’s over here,” it yelled to the other animals on the shore.

“You are a Tramston!” Yelled another.

“And a Nam Yllis,” yelled another.

Many other angry animals flopped over to where Egroj was standing. They were all yelling angry things at Egroj. Some he had heard before, but most had never been directed to him.

He began feeling very bad.

So bad, in fact, that he ran away. Away from he shore and all those yelling animals, and into the Denetyrf Forest. He ran straight through Leafar’s town, which seemed to be abandoned, and into the Desert of Noisser Ped. He found an Evac deep in the dessert and hid himself.

The thing about the Dessert of Noisser Ped is that Regna ruled there, and once he knew you were in his dessert, he would fill your mind with his thoughts. This was a place where true feelings were silenced by Regna. This was also a place where Emit visited often.

Emit would fool the observer into thinking that he had just arrived, while Ragna would occupy his mind with pointless ideas that were not true at all, or so twisted and complicated, that they did not resemble the truth anymore.

Egroj was stuck there. He was stuck there for a long time. Long enough for the Sreitp Menwot to come and force the good people of Leafar’s town to leave. Long enough for the remains of the town to become hills and fields and shrubbery.

Egroj became distracted by a white Kud. This Kud had been trying to convince him that he was carrying a plate of Azzip, and Azzip was Egroj’s favorite food. Egroj was not convinced. In fact, he was arguing with the Kud that he in fact was not carrying a plate of Azzip. Kuds don’t have arms, so Egroj thought his argument was better than the Kud’s.

Suddenly, a thought of Princess Eel came into Egroj’s mind. Last time this happened, Emit and Regna took it right out, but Egroj figured out a way to hide it from them this time.

Egroj pretended to be watching the Kud, and stood up and began walking.

Emit and Regna must have been sleeping, and Egroj had gotten really good at not waking them with Snoitome. So the Kud followed Egroj, and Egroj kept walking.

The thought of Princess Eel led Egroj to the edge of the dessert. As he stepped out of the dessert, he could hear the sea animals again, and that frightened him. He could feel his mind clearing up a bit.

The Kud had stepped out of the dessert as well.

Egroj’s mind was still spinning. He needed to travel to the town of Retfal. That would fix everything. But he couldn’t remember how to get there.

“Egroj,” Said a sweet smelling voice.

Egroj looked up to find that the Kud had turned itself into a wrinkled, slouched and wobbly old woman.

“Are you the Kud?” asked Egroj, looking around for the Kud.

“Not exactly,” she said. “I am Eel. Appearing to you as a Kud was so you would be distracted.”

Egroj was confused. He squinted his eyes at her, then looked around her.

“So where’s the plate of Azzip?” asked Egroj, still foggy.

The Princess didn’t acknowledge his silly question.

“When I heard that you had run into the Dessert of Noisser Ped, I went in after you,” she said.

“I battled Emit for a long time,” she said as she looked to her wrinkled hands. “But I was able to bind him momentarily so you could hear me calling you.”

“It’s really you?” asked Egroj, and he hugged her hard. He was so happy to see her.

“I’m so happy to see you,” he said.

“I know,” she said with a little smirk. “You always are.”

Eel flicked the long white hair out of her face.

“Egroj,” she asked. “Do you have the Vial of Revasyad?”

“Yes,” said Egroj. “It’s in my…” Then he realized that he had left his jolly sac on the shore of the Gniklat. In fact, he was in such a hurry he had run off without putting his clothes back on.

“You have to go back,” said Eel. “Not just for the vial.”

“I know,” said Egroj. “I know.”

Egroj stood motionless for a moment.

“Can you get it for me?” asked Egroj trying to look as pathetic as possible.

“You know I can’t,” said Eel. “Plus, I need a nap.”

Eel collapsed next to a Retropsnart tree and was asleep before she hit the ground.

So Egroj left her, walked through the empty landscape that used to be Leafar’s town, and ducked into the Denetyrf Forest, the whole time trying to block out the angry yelling of the Gniklat sea animals.

He reached the edge of the forest and had to shield his eyes from the bright orange that was the Gniklat Sea. The animals were all there. The Eguh trees were all wilting…things were not happy here. They smelled him right away and began hurling their words at him again.

He tried to hide behind a Gnidih tree, but the angry words went around it, and right into Egroj’s ears, giving his ears quite a Knaps.

He could see his Jolly Sack, and his clothes, but he couldn’t reach them without going out into the open, and those angry words hurt when they hit him.

He could hear some of the mother animals crying for their babies. He could hear baby animals crying for their mothers. He could hear father animals trying to comfort their families.

Egroj began to cry. He had done this. All because he wanted to swim.

Egroj looked up at the piles and piles of angry and helpless Gniklat sea animals and whispered, barely audibly: “I’m sorry.”

The yelling suddenly stopped. The orange sea turned clear again. The trees perked up and the signs started disappearing.

The closest sea animal, which was also the loudest, said to Egroj, “Oh, no worries, have a great day.” And he hopped back into the pool, as did the piles and piles of animals that had gathered on the shores.

The sea was calm again. It was quiet. Everything was back to normal. Oh, except Egroj needed to get dressed.

He got dressed, strapped on his Jolly Sack, and ducked back into the Denetyrf Forest, but only after taking one last look at the beauty of the Gniklat Sea. It was so beautiful with all signs gone.

As he stepped out of the forest, Leafar’s town appeared. Egroj was confused.

“Egroj,” called Leafar.

“Leafar?” said Egroj. “Why is your town here? It was gone.”

“What do you mean,” asked Leafar. “Did you go swimming?”

“How did you know,” asked Egroj.

“Swimming the the Gniklat Sea is a mysterious adventure. The sea is the Noitacav home of Emit, so the swimmer is plunged into Emit’s world for a moment, and as you know, a moment for Emit could be whatever he wants.”

Egroj was processing.

“So, you passed through our town during your adventure with Emit?” asked Leafar.

“Yes, I did,” remembered Egroj, a bit embarrassed.

“Did you see anything you can tell me?” asked Leafar.

Egroj thought about having run though the town without clothes on. Then he thought about how it appeared abandoned, then he thought about the Sreitp Menwot.

“Oh, yes,” said Egroj. “The Sreitp Menwot are coming.”

“Thank you for the warning Egroj,” said Leafar. “I must warn my people.”

Egroj said goodbye, and then immediately wondered if Eel would be waiting at the edge of the dessert where he had last seen her.

He could see a figure leaning onto the tree. It was Eel. She had picked a fruit from the Retropsnart tree and was taking a bite.

“Don’t eat that,” yelled Egroj as he accelerated his step.

But it was too late. The beautiful, flowing, sweet smelling Princess Eel had disappeared into nothingness. Well, she wasn’t gone, she was just somewhere else. That’s the effect of eating the fruit from the Retropsnart tree.

They would find each other again, they always did.

So, now Egroj had to figure out what to do next. He adjusted his Jolly Sack and wandered toward the next town.

The End

Camel Notices Something

Once there was a camel who ran free in the desert, feeling lighter than air, fully refreshed and rejuvenated, his thirst completely quenched and more purposeful than ever.

But he wasn't always like this. Let me start the story over.

Once there was a camel who lived in the desert. He was fairly content. He like the way the sand dunes moved a few feet every year. He liked the adventure of looking for and finding water. He liked the way the land in front of him sometimes looked like it was a mirror.

He didn't necessarily like it when he came across his own footprints in the sand, and he didn't like it when other animals pooped in the watering holes.

Well, one hot and dry day, he awoke to find himself with a load on his back. The truth is, the load had always been there, he just didn't always notice it. You know how that is, like when something stinks, but after a while your nose sort of turns off and you don't smell it anymore.

But today, the pack seemed heavier. He didn't actually know what was in the pack, but something was jabbing him in the side, and he could hear toys and games clinking and sliding around as he walked, and some tinkling He couldn't remember if there was anything of use in the pack, but he carried it nonetheless. It's all he knew to do.

Camel stood up, grunting under the weight of the load, and decided it was time to find water.

He knew of a couple of places in the vicinity that had water, but he was up for an adventure. So he decided to brave the large dune to the East. He had heard of an Oasis a couple of days walk over the dune.

The first few hours were easier than the next few hours, and the first day was easier than the second day, but he trudged along, knowing that the water was waiting for him.

As he reached the peak of a smaller dune, he noticed a figure far off in the distance. He knew not to get excited, it would be hours before he would even know if they were walking toward each other, and then another few hours before they would meet. So Camel occupied his mind with counting games his father had taught him.

How many breaths it took to reach a certain number of steps, then multiply that by the number of heartbeats that took place for every four steps, then divide that by the number of birds he saw flying around, which would change the whole equation every time he saw another bird.

He had another one that included bones and blinking, and another that had to do with how many times he thought of the word "Mochila", which wasn't very often, but you'd be surprised...it did come up. This made for an ongoing proccess where he had to remember how many times he had heard the word. I think he was at 7. Mostly it was when he heard someone say it, although when you are by yourself for long periods of time, words can get stuck in your mind where you say it over and over, and if that happened to "Mochila", that number could climb to 500 easy.

All those hours came and went, and Camel found himself off in number land when the figure he had seen hours earlier was standing in front of him.

It was Jackal.

"Hello Camel," said Jackal. "It's been a long time."

"Yes it has," said Camel. Camel didn't like Jackal. He couldn't remember why, though.

"I see you're still carrying the load I gave you," said Jackal.

Camel suddenly remembered why he didn't like Jackal.

"Hmmff," grunted Camel as he started to step to the side to get around Jackal and keep going.

"It looks like it's made you strong and confident," said Jackal. "And happy?"

Camel though about it and he did feel stronger. And he in fact did feel confident in his abilities.

"I don't know about happy," said Camel.

Jackal laughed a little.

"Then I have something for you," said Jackal. "Something that could remind you to think about being happy."

"I don't need anything else from you," said Camel, still trying to get away.

"Well, it's obvious that you do," said Jackal as he pulled out something wrapped up in a very colorful cloth. "I'll just attach it to your Mochila."

Before Camel could protest any further, Jackal had jumped up onto the load, and attached some sort of jingly bell or something onto the load, then crawled over to the other side, scratched around a bit, lapped at what sounded like a bowl of water, and then jumped down again.

"What did you do?" asked Camel. "What is that jingling? And is there water up there?"

"It's just a little something to remind you to think about being happy," said Jackal. "every time you hear the bell, it will remind you that you are very fortunate to have a load so large and wonderful on your back. Many are jealous of your beautiful and grand Mochila."

Camel couldn't help feeling a little proud of his load, but the jingly bell was already annoying him.

"I will see you later," yelled out Jackal. He was already many meters away.

Camel was glad that he was gone. Jackal took what he wanted, and only gave if it benefited himself. He was not pleasant. Camel stood very still so the bell would stop.

Then he thought about his quest for water, and cringed at the sound as he took his first steps.

After a few hours, the bell sound would come in and out of his mind, and it was not making him think of being happy, it was distracting him from his numbers. He tried to count the jingles, but they were uneven and seemed random.

And he was nearing 100 with "Mochila". It was all he could do to think of other things.

Finally, he reached the oasis. It was fairly small, but it had shade, and water.

He got to the water's edge and gazed into the sweet, cool pool. It was beautiful. He lowered his head to take a drink, and with a loud jingle, his load slid a bit toward his head, which made Camel jolt his head upright to catch the load from falling.

Every time he tried to take a drink, his load would slide, almost falling off, and Camel would stand upright again to keep the load from falling off.

Every time, with a loud, obnoxious jingle.

Camel was getting frustrated. He would have cried if he had any tears, but he hadn't had any water for some time now.

He considered turning back and getting water from that tank of water where the level was a bit higher and he wouldn't have to lean so far over, but he knew he wouldn't make it back.

He turned back to gaze into the pool. He had a feeling this was the last thing he would ever see.

He hung his head and sighed. That's when he noticed something at the bottom of the pool of water. It looked like...he wasn't certain...yes...toys? Games? Some useless objects and small pieces of fabric? There were hundreds, maybe thousands of Mochillas sunk at the bottom of the pool. Well, maybe not thousands, but Camel was excited, and you start seeing things when you get excited.

Camel immediately had an idea. He was, after all, a very smart Camel. Without hesitating, he leaned over and let his Mochila slide off his back, and with a gurgling Jingle, watched it sink to the bottom.

He drank and drank and drank. Oh, it was really good. It was fantastic. It was the best.

As he drank, between the ripples of cool, quenching water, Camel saw that each of the Mochilas had their own little bell.

All of them were silent.

---

So, this gets us back to the part where Camel is running all happy...let's see:

Once there was a camel who ran free in the desert, feeling lighter than air, fully refreshed and rejuvenated, his thirst completely quenched and more purposeful than ever.

The End

Keep Them In and Keep Them Out

Once there was a Peacock Papi who was so beautiful and colorful. He had four little peacock chickies who loved to play.

They all lived in a nice fenced in yard where there was a tree, some shrubbery and a little pond. It was a perfect little spot.

The Papi Peacock was so beautiful that every day, animals would come over and ask him to show them his train. It was so beautiful.

Once day, the cow came over and asked Peacock to show her his plumage. So he did.

While he was showing her his feathers, he looked over and saw that his little chickies were playing by the fence.

He excused himself and went to the fence.

"Hey, you guys," said Papi Peacock, "I don't want you guys to play by the fence. You can play by the pond, climb the tree and play in the bushes, but just don't play by the fence."

They apologized and went to play by the pond.

The next day, Dog brought a couple of cat friends to see Peacock's tail feathers.

While he was showing them, he saw out of the corner of his eye, that his chickies were playing by the fence again. In fact, they were playing ON the fence.

He excused himself again and went over to them.

"I thought we agreed you wouldn't play by the fence," said Papi Peacock, "And here you are ON the fence."

They apologized again and went over to the tree.

The next day, a bunch of the animals came over with cakes and chips and drinks. They had been planning a potluck for a while. While they were all talking and laughing, Papi Peacock took a look around, hoping that he wouldn't find his chickies playing by the fence.

He searched the fence line and they weren't there. He breathed a sign of relief.

Then he searched the rest of the yard for them, wondering where they were. He couldn't find them. He looked in the tree, by the pond and in the bush, and they weren't anywhere.

He started freaking out. He asked everyone who came for the potluck to look for them, but no one found them.

They looked for hours, and nothing.

After a while, they all left. They would look on their way home.

Papi Peacock cried and cried and would not let himself go to sleep, well, until he couldn't help falling asleep because he was too tired.

When he woke up, he remembered right away and started to cry again.

He slowly stood up and took a look around the yard. To his surprise, there were the chickies, right in the very center of the yard.

He rushed over to them and hugged them and kissed them and loved on them and told them how worried he had been.

"Where were you?" he asked. "What happened to you last night?"

"Well," one of them said, "We were playing by the fence, and suddenly, well, we found ourselves on the other side of the fence."

"And we couldn't find away back in," said another chickie.

So they went on to explain what happened.

It turns out that while they were on the other side of the fence, a fox came over and offered to help them get to the opening of the fence.

"Get on my back and I'll take you there," said the fox.

The chickies believed him, and got on his back.

Once they were all on his back, he bolted...the opposite way of the fence. He was taking them away.

The chickies started screaming and tightening their claws on his back. They even started pecking him.

"Stop pecking me!" the fox yelled.

But they didn't stop.

"Not until you let us down!" said the chickies.

"Fine!" yelled the fox. "Get off my back!"

The chickies jumped off his back, and the fox quickly ran away.

The chickies realized that they were far from home and started crying.

After a while, they finished crying and decided to try to walk back home.

It took them all night to walk home...foxes run very fast.

Once they got to the fence, they looked around the whole fence line, but couldn't find the way in. But instead of crying again, they decided that they would try to get up onto the fence, and then jump off in to the yard.

As they were talking about how they were going to do it, the fox appeared behind them, and he had brought his whole family... his wife, his three little fox cubs, and his brother.

The chickies freaked out and jumped higher than they thought they could, right over the fence.

Once they were in the yard, and safe from the fox family, they carefully calculated the exact middle of the yard and huddled together, shaking and trembling.

"And that's where I found you," said Papi Peacock. And he hugged them again.

"I'm sure glad you found your way back," he said.

They were too...and they never played by the fence again. Well, there was that one time that the ball got kicked over to the fence, but that's different.

The End

Why Lambs Always Land on their Back

Once there was a fluffy little lamby who suddenly found herself at the very top of a very tall tree.

She didn't normally climb trees, and when she found herself up the tree, she didn't know what to do.

Since this was a new thing for her, and didn't actually know if she could climb down, she decided to sing a song.

It went like this:

I'm just a little Lamby
Singing in a tree
Not sure how I got up here
But I think I have to pee.

And when she thought about it, she realized she really DID have to pee. So she stuck her bottom out as far as she could, pulled up her tail (so she wouldn't get pee on her fluffy tail) and trickled her pee from the top of the tree.

What she didn't know is that some Piggie friends had chosen to have a picnic directly under the tree.

One of them was putting some bread on his butter, and felt a little drop.

"Oh," said the Piggie, "I think it's raining." She took out her umbrella, opened it up and went back to buttering his bread.

Meanwhile, the little lamby was relieved to not have to pee anymore, and was happy. So happy, in fact, that she decided to sing another song.

It went like this:

I'm a little Lamby
I don't know what to do
Not sure how I got up here
But I think I have to poo

And just as she said it, yep, she felt like she had to poo.

So, she wiggled her bottom a little further out on the branch, lifted her fluffy tail out of the way, and let out a stream of little pellets of poo.

Well, the Piggie friends had just finished eating their butter with bread, and wanted to move on to the baggie of potato chips. Well, they looked everywhere, but had apparently misplaced the baggie, and just as they almost decided to think that they had forgotten the baggie back at the house, one of the found it just beyond a root of the tree.

The Piggie reached her hand out from under the umbrella, and grabbed hold of the baggie.

Just as soon as she brought her hand in, there started a rat-a-tat-tat banging on the umbrella.

They decided it was the tree dropping some acorns and tore into the bag of potato chips.

Meanwhile, back up the tree, the little Lamby felt again relieved to not have to poo anymore.

So, being happy again, she decided to sing again.

Here's how the song went:

I'm a little Lamby
I might have heard a hoot
Maybe there's an owl around
But I think I have to toot

And then she realized that yes, she did have to toot.

So she scooted herself further out on the limb, and was about to push, when she slipped and fell off.

Meanwhile, the Piggie friends were looking for the whipped cream to put on the pudding. Apparently, someone had forgotten the whipped cream as well.

So, as the little Lamby fell down toward the ground, she flew past a bird's nest and a squirrel's house, then some falling acorns, and even a few little drops of rain.

Then she smashed into the umbrella, and bounced right back up into the air.

This is when she remembered what her grandmother had told her:

"Always land on your back where it's the fluffiest."

So Lamby twisted herself around as she started back down for the second time.

The Piggie friends heard the large thump on the umbrella and decided to see what it was. They closed the umbrella and put it away, then took a look up toward the tree.

They missed the little fluffy lamby as she fell right into the pudding.

The Piggie friends decided that there was nothing to see and went back to eating.

"I thought we forgot the whipped cream," said one of the Piggie friends pointing at the pudding.

The Piggie friends licked their lips, grabbed their spoons and aimed for the pudding with the fluffy whipped cream on top.

Yum!

The End

Skunk Finally Smiles

Once there was a skunk who was, well, she was unhappy. I'm not sure why she was upset, but it seems like everything bothered her.

If it rained, she was bothered. It it was cold or windy or hot, she was bugged. None of her friends could actually think of anything that made her smile or laugh, and believe me, they tried.

Every second Tuesday of every third month (unless it fell on an even numbered day - which would move it to the first Saturday morning that everyone could be there), they met to talk about new ideas they could try, and failed attempts of the past couple of months.

Well, in the meantime, Skunk knew that they were meeting, and since she didn't know what they were meeting about (and was never invited),that made her very upset, and even suspicious of all her "friends".

It just seemed like everything that anyone tried to do, even in love and honest concern for her wellbeing, was seen by her as a jab, and a dagger.

Once, squirrel made Skunk a beautiful cake, and it wasn't even Skunks birthday. It was strawberry inside with little chunks of cashews inside, layered with a coffee icing, then the whole thing iced with a dark chocolate cream cheese icing, and little white flowers all over it.

Well, Skunk ate a small piece of it, and was pleasant while Squirrel sat and chetted, but once Squirrel left, Skunk threw the rest of the cake away. She thought Squirrel meant by bringing a cake that Skunk was too skinny, or was addicted to sweet food, or something...she couldn't decide. But she was upset by it.

Once, Lizzard brought her flute and played a sweet little lullaby for Skunk. Well, Skunk immediately thought that Lizzard wanted to put Skunk to sleep, so she pretended to fall asleep.

When Lizzard saw that Skunk had fallen asleep, Lizzard quietly cleaned up the kitchen and tidied up the living room. Skunk kept peeking at Lizzard when she had her back turned. When Lizzard finally left, Skunk was sure that Lizzard thought Skunk was a messy animal and couldn't keep a clean house.

There was nothing that anyone could do that Skunk wouldn't assume they meant as a negative judgement on her character.

Well, the last straw for Skunk was when Froggie invited her to a "We Love You, Skunk" party. It was even held on a second Tuesday.

Skunk didn't RSVP, but knew that they were still going to throw the party. She had the idea that they were finally going to tell her she had to leave the forest.

Well, she was right...about the party still being thrown, but not the eviction.

As the Tuesday approached, Skunk prepared to show them all. She was going to finally let them how she felt about the...and it was not going to be pretty.

It took her a whole morning, and she even skipped lunch, but she finally found what she was looking for...Hemlock.

She gathered a handfull of Hemlock seeds and took them home. She crushed them into a powder, and added a little bit of water so that it made a paste, then she put it in a little acorn shell and stored it behind the pots and pans.

On Tuesday morning, Skunk sat at her kitchen table, with the Hemlock paste in front of her. She watched the clock. She had gathered all the pictures of the forest animals and set them up on the table.

There was a picture of Skunk and Froggie from when they went to the forest fair, and a picture of Stork and Squirrel laughing at Skunk's kitchen table. There was a picture of Skunk and Lizzard jumping into the pond.

She looked them all for a long time, thinking that they were all faking their friendship with her.

On the other side of the forest, Froggie and the others were putting the final touches on the decorations. They were beautiful. Garlands, flowers, a couple of cakes, lots of punch and cookies. Some of them had even brought presents.

Stork had the idea to make a card and have everyone sign it, and everyone had done that except for Mouse. Once mouse signed it, Stork put it on the table with the presents.

Once the time had come for the party to start, Froggie wondered what was keeping Skunk. Froggie sent Grackle to fly above the forest to see if he could see her on the trails.

Well, at the time the party was supposed to start, Skunk picked up the Hemlock and put it in her mouth and swallowed it.

She felt very proud of herself. She was going to show them. She felt like they disliked her so much that she was going to teach them a lesson.

As her mouth and throat started to get tingly, she thought of how Squirrel and Lizzard had wronged her.

As her mouth filled with saliva, she thought of how Froggie and Stork had done such bad things to her.

As her muscles started twitching, she thought of how badly all the forest animals had treated her and how judgemental they all had been.

As everything in her cozy little burrow started getting darker, she thought of how satisfied she would be knowing that all the forest animals would get a dose of their own medicine.

And when her breathing became shallower and harder, she thought she would finally go to the party and see if they had finally learned their lesson, but she could not stand up, in fact, she couldn't move a muscle.

---

Grackle didn't see Skunk on the trail, and he didn't see her anywhere around her burrow. When he finally landed and peeked inside her home, he immediately knew something was wrong.

He went inside and tried to wake her, but he couldn't. He looked at all the pictures stretched out in front of her on the kitchen table and smiled.

---

They never found any trace of the Hemlock, and all thought so highly of her. They were sad that her time had come so unexpectedly, but were all so touched by the fact that her last moments were spent gazing at her friends.

There was even a smile on Skunk's face.

She was finally happy.

The End

The World is my...

Once there were two chipmunks that loved each other very, very much. You could tell because they hugged and snuggled everywhere they went...sometimes maybe too much. Well, not for them, but you know how some people are...some people just don't like seeing that stuff out in public.

Anyway, these guys loved being outside. They loved to explore new places, climb interesting things and sleep anywhere they thought was safe.

They would take a weekend here or a couple of days there and go off on some fun adventure.

Then, when they returned, they would invite everyone in the forest to come over and listen to them tell of their exciting vacation.

Sometimes, the forest animals would ask them to retell stories, and the chipmunks would always oblige.

One of their favorite adventures was when they went to a beautiful place where the trees were huge, and there were massive logs everywhere. They even had a picnic on one of the fallen logs.

Another favorite was when they found a mound of large boulders piled up into an awesome place to explore.

There was also the time they hiked along a large mud pit, and they both ended up with sticky mud up to their knees.

Oh, and there was also the place where the earth opened up in a huge crack. They explored the crack all day. At one end there was a forest of thorns and vines, and in the center was a huge sink hole.

Everyone loved their stories, and they were both so good at telling them.

One day, the Monkey family invited them over for dinner. They did this every once in a while.

Once the little baby monkeys were down for the night, Mr. and Mrs. Monkey and the Chipmunks played games, sang songs, talked and laughed. They were very good friends.

Sometimes they would tell each other things that no one else knew. That's what you do with good friends.

Well, it may have been an accident how the subject of pooping was brought up, (although it seemed to be a favorite topic along with underleg trumpeting for the Monkey family).

Accident or not, the chipmunks admitted to something that surprised the Monkeys.

Monkey's side was hurting from laughing so hard.

"Well, sometimes we're just too far away from a restroom to go back!" said Mr. Chipmunk.

Monkey finally calmed down enough to ask them, "So, at the forest with the logs?"

"Yep," said the chipmunks, "we left a couple logs."

"And the the pile of boulders?" asked Monkey.

"We made our own pile." said the chipmunks.

"And the big crack?" Asked Monkey.

"Right at the edge of the sink hole." said the chipmunks.

"And the mud pit?" asked the Monkeys.

"That was a bit messy," said Mrs. Chipmunk, "I think it was the lamb burgers we ate for lunch."

Oh, they laughed about that for a while.

The Monkeys promised not to tell anyone in forest about their "adventures" during their outdoor adventures.

But whenever the chipmunks told the forest of their most recent adventure, the Monkeys would have to fight laughing out loud.

Especially when they told about their trip to the city dump. Oh, and they almost fell off the stumps they were sitting on when they told about getting pinched on some thorny bushes at loaf mountain.

They couldn't keep their snickers quiet when the chipmunks went to the lake and caught a bunch of Crappie.

The End

Blah and the Falling Blah-Blahs

Once there was a blah that was very blah, and loved to blah. Of course, only when the blah was blah or blah blah, which was actually quite blah blah.

Well, one day, a bunch of blahs dropped out of the blah, and the blah was so blah that everything changed.

First, all the blah in the blah went all blah blah. Then the blah became completely blah blah, which was really a blah thing.

There wasn't anything that the blah could do about that, but that didn't stop her from becoming blah blah.

Well, the blah made lots of changes in her life to make up for the changes that the falling blah had caused.

The problem with that was that the blah had no idea how to be a blah, and the next few days, all of the blah's friends became upset with the new blah...they didn't like the new blah very much.

But, they all loved her so much, that they all decided to do something about it.

All of the blah-blah's climbed the blah with blahs in their blah blahs, and tried to put them all back, but that didn't work...the blah's kept doing what they had done before, remember, what had started the whole thing.

Well, when the blahs came down from the blah, the blah saw them and knew exactly what they were doing. She was so happy that they cared so much about them that she got all blah-blah and began to blah.

Then all the other blah's got confused by seeing the blah getting all blah-blah, and they all started to blah.

The blah's were so blah, that they began blah-ing themselves, and one even blah-ed himself against the blah. Well, the force of the blah blah-ing against the blah made a bunch of blahs fall from the blah.

When the blah realized that it was just blah falling from the blah, she blah-ed, and then couldn't stop blah-ing.

The rest of the blahs saw her blah-ing and began blah-ing as well.

They blah-ed for a while until they got hungry, and then forgot what had started the whole thing.

The End

The Hundred Babies

Once there was a little girl named Sofie, and she had one hundred babies.

She had a little kitty cat baby and a furry mouse baby and a dog baby. She even had an elephant baby and a bear baby and a gorilla baby.

They were all so cute and cuddly. She loved them all so much. They all slept on her bed with her every night, and she could tell when even one of them fell off the bed.

One morning, as she hugged every one of them, the counted only 99 babies.

“Oh, no,” she thought.

She hugged them all again, and again counted only 99. She knew it was wolf who was missing.

Where was he? Sofie decided to leave the 99 babies in the care of Baby Alligator and Baby Stork, and she took Baby Snake and Baby Gorilla with her to look for them.

Baby Lamb and Baby Raccoon cried when Sofie left.

“I’ll be right back, sweeties,” she said to them.

Sofie, Baby Snake and Baby Gorilla looked everywhere. They looked on top of every rock, and under every tree. They looked in all of Baby Wolf’s favorite places, but they could not find him.

They all sat down for a rest, and just as Sofie opened her backpack to take out some snacks. She always had snacks in her backpack. But before she could open the backpack, she heard a little noise.

She knew right away that it was Baby Wolf. It was a cute little yelp, but it was a frightened little yelp.

Baby Gorilla and Baby Snake heard it too.

“Baby Wolf!” Sofie called out.

They all heard another yelp. They were close.

They followed the yelping to a small hole, and when they peered inside, there was Baby Wolf.

“Baby Wolf,” said Sofie, “Are you OK?”

Baby Wolf just yelped.

“You’re hungry aren’t you?” she asked. “I brought some Snackies.”

She opened her backpack, and was surprised at what she found…nothing.

“Hey,” she exclaimed, “I thought I had Snackies in here.”

She peered into the hole again.

“Sorry, Baby Wolf,” she said. “I don’t have any Snackies for you. You’ll just have to wait until we get you out.”

Sofie asked Baby Snake to stretch himself as long as he could and slide down into the hole. Baby Gorilla made sure Baby Snake didn’t fall all the way in.

“Now, Baby Snake,” said Sofie, “Grab on to Baby Wolf as tight as you can.”

Baby Snake grabbed on to Baby Wolf’s nose, and Baby Gorilla and Sofie pulled on Baby Snakes tail as hard as they could, but not too hard to break Baby Snake.

Baby Wolf wasn’t budging.

They pulled and pulled, but nothing.

“OK,” said Sofie. “Baby Snake, you can let go. We have to think of something else.”

So Baby Snake let go and was pulled out of the hole.

Sofie gave Baby Gorilla a hug for being so strong, and Baby Snake a kiss for being so long. But when she kissed Baby Snake, she noticed that her breath smelled like Snackies.

“Baby Snake,” asked Sofie. “Why does your breath smell like Snackies? We brushed your teeth last night, didn’t we?”

All Baby Snake could do is point down to Baby Wolf.

Sofie looked down into the hole and that’s when she noticed the crumbs all over Wolf’s nose and chin.

Baby Wolf, did you eat the Snackies from my backpack?

Baby Wolf whined an embarrassed whine.

“Oh,” said Sofie sadly. “That’s why you’re stuck.”

She sat down next to the hole to think.

“Well,” said Sofie, “I guess we’ll just have to wait until you get smaller, and then you won’t be stuck anymore.”

Then she stood up.

“Baby Snake and Baby Gorilla?” She said. “You guys stay here and I’ll be right back.”

She kissed them before she left, and reached down into the hole and rubbed Baby Wolf’s nose.

Sofie was back in a flash with all the babies following her, and a backpack full of Snackies for everyone. They all played and ate and took naps next to the hole where Baby Wolf was, including him in all the games they played…as well as they could.

Later that evening, when some of the babies had fallen asleep, and it was fairly quiet, a very loud and muffled honking sound came from the hole where Baby Wolf had been all day, and then suddenly, Baby Wolf popped out of the hole. His toot has dislodged him from the hole.

Everyone laughed and hugged and kissed Baby Wolf.

Baby Wolf licked Sofie all over her face. She knew he was sorry for eating the Snackies without asking.

I don’t think he did it again.

The End

Monkey Loses Mouse...Again

Once there was a little monkey who had a mouse for a best friend. She loved the mouse, played with it every day. Fed it, watered it, cleaned it's cage, everything.

Well, one day, the mouse died. It was a sad day. Monkey cried and cried.

Actually, she didn't cry at first because she didn't know what "died" meant.

Well, Papi Monkey told her that the mouse wasn't going to breath or eat or move around anymore. She still didn't cry. Not until Papi Monkey told Little Monkey they had to put it in a plastic bag and throw the mouse away.

Oh, then she cried and cried.

Well, Papi Monkey suggested that Little Monkey write the mouse a goodbye note. She did. It was very sweet. It said "I love you mouse" and "Goodbye".

They folded it up and took a shovel and the plastic bag with the dead mouse in it to the backyard.

Papi Monkey picked a spot next to a Live Oak and started digging. There were roots all over the place, but he was able to make a hole about a foot deep.

Maybe it was less than that.

Anyway, Papi Monkey opened the bag with the dead mouse in it and whew, was it stinky.

Papi Monkey told his little girl that when something dies, it starts to rot. Just like when she accidentally dropped an apple core into the couch and they found it all moldy and soft and stinky a couple of weeks later.

Just like when they forget to put the garbage out on trash day and have to wait a whole nother week, and it stinks like crazy. It’s because the garbage has things in it that are rotting.

They talked about how flies like to eat rotten stuff and they lay their eggs in the rotten stuff and the baby flies are born and they are called maggots. Eww!

Little Monkey dropped the folded up note into the hole and Papi Monkey dropped the dead mouse into the hole. Actually, they looked at the mouse first, then dropped it in.

Papi Monkey put dirt over the hole and they went inside. Later that night, Little Monkey asked how deep Papi Monkey could dig, and Papi Monkey said he couldn’t dig too deep. Maybe a few feet.

Little Girl monkey asked what would happen if he kept digging…if he could. And Papi Monkey took out their “Earth Ball” and tried to figure out where they would end up if they kept digging.

The answer was “Somewhere in the ocean”.

Little Monkey then asked about what kind of animals lived in the ocean, and they talked and talked about fish and sea horses and plankton and whales and coral well into the night.

Papi Monkey was suddenly woken up by a scream coming from outside. He found himself on Little Monkey’s bed, but Little Monkey was not there.

He ran out of the house and found Little Monkey standing next to the Live Oak tree, pointing to the ground.

When Papi Monkey reached his daughter, he saw that the place where they had buried her little mouse was disturbed. In fact, the mouse was gone. Little Monkey found her note a few feet away, in the direction of the deep forest.

Papi Monkey explained that he should have dug a deeper hole and that some other animal had come and taken her mouse away.

“Why would anyone do that?” she asked.

“Well,” said Papi Monkey carefully. “To eat it.”

Little Monkey’s face got all scrunched up and looked like she was going to throw up.

Papi Monkey took her hand and they climbed the tree house and listened to the wind for a while.

They didn’t talk about eating a rotten dead mouse.

The End