Badger's Incentive Program

Badger stumbles upon a very effective way to motivate his employees.

Badger needed a job. He was good at many things, but none of those things could make him any money. He was good at sports, playing video games, cooking and other interesting things.

He decided to apply at the local telemarketing company. It was not a fun job, but Badger was really good at it. H was good at everything.

During his first few weeks, he saw many opportunities for advancement, and he was such a good worker, he challenged himself, and achieved his goals very quickly.

Suddenly he found himself in management. It would take him longer to advance from this position than it had been taking him, but he took on this position the same way. He worked as hard as he could, encouraging his crew with incentives and pats on the back. They really liked him. He made them all want to do better.

Well, one of the incentives he implemented was a Friday Breakfast Taco for everyone who tried their hardest. Basically everyone got a taco, but it was a morale booster.

Badger reminded everyone as he passed their cubicle about the Taco Guy coming at the end of the week.

Badger walked around all day with his clipboard and his headset, and randomly, he would plug into the phone to listen in on the conversation.

He knew this made his crew nervous, but it was a requirement. He made jokes and distracted his crew to get their mind off of things. Badger didn’t want to make them nervous, he just had to listen in. You know, “This call may be monitored for quality assurance purposes.”

Well, one Tuesday morning, Beaver had created a masterpiece consisting of a turkey and Monterrey Jack Omelet, topped with fresh cilantro, diced tomatoes and Ranch Style beans. Yum! His family was so grateful to him for cooking for breakfast. It was a treat. Badger left for work satisfied and happy.

As you can imagine, though, this was doing a number on Badger’s tummy. Later in the day, there were all sorts of rumblings and gurgles coming from Badger’s mid-section. He even had a few “False-Starts” to the bathroom. He was having a rough morning, but he just kept pushing through.

His day was going the same as every other day, visiting cubicles, making notes and listening in on conversations.

In the middle of one conversation, the pressure in his tummy was demanding to be released. He was attached to the phone system through the headset. Just as he released the headset from the phone jack, a little bit of bottom air leaked out.

His eyes grew large. He was sure no one heard it. Would it smell? He waited a few moments.

Yes. It smelled. He had to think quick.

He began to take deep breaths through his nose, and popped his head up from the cubicle, looking around for something.

He leaned over to the next cubicle over and asked,

“Did the Taco Guy come today?” and to another who had just hung up from a sale,

“Is it Friday already? Still smelling something in the air.

Everyone around him started to take deep inhalations, trying to smell if the Taco Guy was here.

Someone spoke up, “I think he is here. I smell Chorizo and Egg”

Another chimed in, “Man, That’s making me hungry.”

Everyone smelled deeply, taking in as much of the aroma as they could.

Badger announced, “I’ll go check, you guys get back to calls.”

As Badger walked across the large open area, between the rest of the cubicles, he let a little controlled amount of his inside air every few feet.

When he came back and announced that it must have been someone’s lunch in the refrigerator, everyone groaned in disappointment.

The rest of the day was fairly regular.

Although, after lunch everyone could have sworn they smelled potato chips.

The End

The Computer Monkey

A monkey finds something in the forest.

Once there was a little monkey who found a computer next to a tree in the forest. He poked it and tasted it and slapped at it, as you’d expect any monkey to do.

He was very attracted to the large and smooth flat surface, and the little light in the bottom corner.

You can imagine his surprise when he pushed the button and the large smooth surface turned into a colorful, flickering, multi-colored, beautiful object of mystery.

After some time of staring into the colorful surface, he began wanting to do something with it. His eyes found a funny flat object connected to the flat colorful surface thing. It had a bunch of little shiny block on it that were painted with tiny little pictures.

The monkey started to poke each of the little blocks with his stubby, fat fingers, and the colorful flat surface began to change. Each time he pushed one of the blocks, a tiny little picture, the same as was painted on the little block, appeared on the flat surface.

Oh, this kept him busy for a long time. He was enjoying the way that the pictures formed lines and then when they got to the far right, they would start again at the left (not that he knew his left from right).

He got so excited he wanted to take it home to show his children. They would not believe him if he just told them about it. They’d think it was another one of his silly stories.

He took a tight grip on the large box with the shiny flat surface and pulled, but it was hung up on something. It seemed like it was tied to a vine or something that came out of the back of it. He yanked and yanked until it came loose.

But just as it came loose, the colors disappeared. He put the box down and poked at it and tasted it and screamed at it, but nothing happened. He became so frustrated with it that he picked it up and threw it down the hill. It bounced and crashed at the bottom of the hill. It might have exploded.

That’s when the monkey noticed the orange vine that had been tied to the box. He decided to follow it to see where it took him.

It took him through the forest, under a log, through a small creek, under a wooden fence, through a large flat concrete parking lot, in through a window, and into an office full of cubicles, then around a maze of cubicles to a small desk with a leather chair with a smaller computer on the desk. There was a painting of a dog.

It looked comfortable, so he sat down in it.

Suddenly, a large upright walking man with clothes on rounded the corned and threw some papers on the desk in front of the monkey.

“Get these done!” said the man without looking at the monkey.

The monkey screamed, which was echoed by some of the workers in the neighboring cubicles. Then it went quiet.

The monkey looked through the papers and moved some to the side, held up one of them with corrections on a design layout, and got to work.

He ended up tweaking a few website designs and making a couple of blog entries before the day was through, and he finally got home.

When he did get home, he was right, his children just thought it was another one of his silly stories.

The End