Captain Gasalot

A tale of Captain Gasalot: A pirate known for his sense of smell. (sort of)

Once upon a time, there was a pirate named Captain Gasalot. No one except his own crew had ever seen him, but he was feared on the seas.

His method of capturing ships was by using his special fog making invention. He would dump loads of this special stuff off the ship and would engulf his ship with fog.

Unsuspecting ships would not know it was Captain Gasalot's ship that was approaching them. The next thing they knew, their ship was engulfed by fog, and Captain Gasalot had boarded their ship.

The fog would make everything quiet. And before the crew knew it, Captain Gasalot would already be disabling them one at a time. With a clothespin on his nose, he would stand as close to them as possible, and toot.

All the crew would hear was "ptptpt", and then a gasp, and another member of the crew was down.

Captain Gasalot would do this until the whole crew was disabled, and as the fog cleared, he would not go for the booty. He was not interested in jewelry or gold or maps. He was interested in something from the kitchen.

He would put clothespins on all the noses of his crew, go down into the hold with his men, and they would steal all their beans, cabbage, sausage, cheese and broccoli. Anything that would ferment in his stomach and produce gas.

Then he would tie a rope to the wheel and make the ship go in a big circle, so that they wouldn't slam into rocks or other ships, and leave them.

When everyone came to, they thought everything had been left untouched, that is, until the cook decided to begin preparing the meal.

"The beans are gone! How can I cook without beans! And the cabbage too."

Well, there was a Captain of another ship who was determined to stop Captain Gasalot. And he had a plan.

He had also discovered how to make fog, so he decided to set a trap for Captain Gasalot.

He dumped all the stuff off the ship, and engulfed his won ship in fog. This would surely attract Captain Gasalot.

He was right. Captain Gasalot could smell fog from miles away. And in no time at all, he had steered next to the ship, and was boarding.

He began to use his specialized weapon of choice. "Ptptpt." But he heard no gasp, and no falling crewmen.

"Ptptpt." Captain Gasalot was confused.

"Ptptpt." Captain Gasalot was running out of bullets.

As he used his last, the fog was beginning to clear, and there was the crew of the ship, standing over him, with clothespins pinching their noses.

So, they took Captain Gasalot to jail. Turns out, Captain Gasalot had a huge nose, so they put the handcuffs on his nose when they took him in.

They closed him in a cell with only a small vent at the top. Captain Gasalot decided he would try to escape by disabling the guard at the door.

He stood up and got as close to the door as he could.

"Ptptpt."

But he had forgotten that he had not put a clothespin on his nose, and his own toot knocked him out.

Later, he would wake up wondering where he was, and realize he had to toot, let out the toot, and get knocked out again.

The guard at the door decided that he did not need to be there, since Captain Gasalot could not take any more than one step before knocking himself out again.

And of course, they only fed him beans, sausage, cabbage, cheese and broccoli.

The End